Thespians On: Crying on Command

Crying is not generally considered a good thing, unless you’re “happy-crying.” Theatre is one of those weird things that considers drying a talent. Crying on command is a must-have skill for anyone trying to get into professional acting, because a lot of directors will have at least scene in their movie where someone is crying. Now, you could do that fake dry-crying where you make weird breathing sound that make it seem like you’re choking on cat fur, or you could actually learn how to get those salty droplets to roll down your face. If you don’t know how then WAIT! GUESS WHAT I’M ABOUT TO DO! GUESS, COME ON, GUESS! Yes. A LIST. You’re welcome.

GET SOMEONE TO BLOW ON YOUR EYES

 

This won’t exactly get you to Viola Davis’ snot-acting level of tears, but if you have an off day and need a little kick to get some waterworks flowing. Just ask someone to blow directly on your eyeballs while holding them open.

THINK ABOUT SOMETHING REALLY SAD

 

I know this might seem harsh, but I’ll just make it blunt: Imagine that your parents died and you simultaneously lost your job and don’t know where to go from here. Sometimes I’ll think of something like that and start sobbing. Sure, I’ll do it the middle of a train and get stared at, but at least it works.

GET SOMEONE YOU RESPECT TO SCOLD YOU

 

Like your director? Great. Get them to yell at you for not being able to cry. Get them to say terrible things about how you aren’t really an actor because a real actor would be crying right now. A real actor could get in the mindset and wouldn’t need time to figure out how to cry. Get them to say that your future is hopeless and you’ll never be successful, and that you’d better start looking into other jobs now because you’re on a sinking ship with a captain that’s never taken a boat to sea in his life. Oh, the director won’t mean it of course. Probably. Who’s crying? I’m not crying. It was just a method. Not. True.

These are all pretty easy tips and at least one of them can completely destroy your ego! So. Pretty beneficial, I’d say. You might not reach Viola Davis level, but honestly, who could? So get out there and…cry.

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