By: Dakota Diego-Brait ’26
This Week’s Movie: Identity Thief
Starring: Melissa McCarthy (Diana) and Jason Bateman (Sandy Patterson)
Age rating: 18+
Setting: Denver (where Sandy lives) and Florida (where Diana lives)
Genre: Comedy
Disclaimer:
IF YOU READ THIS IT CONTAINS SPOILERS SO DON’T COME UP TO ME AND GET MAD AT ME FOR SPOILING SOME STUFF. I WARNED YOU.
About the movie: Basically, Diana steals people’s identities and buys herself whatever she wants. She then somehow finds out Sandy’s number (she probably just typed up a random number) and tries to sell him “Identity theft protection” over the phone. Therefore making him reveal all of his credit card information to her (very dumb move on Sandy’s part). Diana then goes and does illegal stuff, buys whatever she wants, and just creates disruptions everywhere she steps foot. Sandy then is arrested for doing all of these things even though he never did anything wrong, and it was Diana all along. The police then conveniently say that unless Diana is standing right there turning herself in for identity theft, they can’t do anything. Sandy then decides that it’d be a good idea to go to Florida and somehow force Diana into going to Denver with him. Sandy finds Diana in a salon in Florida, she then proceeds to run out of the salon and steal his rental car. Sandy however, decides not to give up (not a very good idea in my opinion, but I guess that’s the movie). He then finds her car in her house, he investigates her house, she finds him, hits him in the throat, then attempts to escape. Long story short, a bunch of crazy stuff happens, they run into these people that happened to be bounty hunters going after Diana, and I’m not going to spoil the rest because you should just watch the movie if you want to see more.
I give this movie a 6/10 because it was funny and all, but just a bit slow, and has the world’s dumbest characters in it. Example: Sandy gives out his credit card information to someone without question, I mean, Diana pulled a home alone on him (when two guys dressed up as cops, then asked the family if they had protection from burglars, then after the family left, the “cops” tried to rob the family’s home).
Want me to review a movie you like? Feel free to email me any movies that you want me to review at 2026ddiegobrait@friendscentral.org